The following Views and recommendations are real and true. Any resemblance to living or the snoring is purely intentional and deliberated to invoke responses from the audience.
Ten things which can maximize your pleasure of watching weekend football and minimize stress.
1. Get your local timings intact, be prepared and leave early to the field. A 5 minute delay can break your heart, a Gerrard screamer or an early red card can’t be missed. Check the timings more than once and make sure the field remote control will not be occupied.
2. Nothing adds to the joy of being prepared well for a match. Invite friends to come over, ask them to get some cans, munchies and your favorite snack. Never run out of stock in-between, chewing nails isn’t good for health. Have keen attention and a loud support scream for over 2 hours. Make a chorus and let the others follow suit.
3. Invite “fans and fans” only. Red card at Wall Street is irrelevant. AIG is not any popular than the Red Devils. Also chalk out a strategy about a venue. Your home, his bed room or the local sports bar. With multiple options you can always make a smooth transition in case of pre-occupied field. In case of friend’s house, check for presence of nerds or exam frenzy.
4. Fans should be asked to choose their support and it would be a pleasure if they land up in their home jerseys. End of the day, loyalty and support goes a long way in making your teams win. Also make sure about the loyalties of any third team supporter. He might be secretly rebelling both of you.
5. Only players have intervals, fans don’t. So don’t breakdown or stop your cheering. You might not be aiding your teams cause. All phone calls can be missed and all missed calls can be answered later. Only nature calls are allowed.
6. Speak diligently and use the right terminologies. A miss-pass is different from a good interception. Appreciate the differences and spread your knowledge. Give Gyaan at interval and discuss half time tactics. Wenger needs your input.
7. Declare pre match warnings and issue preventive advice in case of feminine fans turning up at the venue. Ballack is a player and not a model. Ronaldo has a girl friend.
8. In case of high pressure situations and hyper sensitive fans, make sure there is sufficient space around them. Elbow tackles and knee jerks are too painful to take. Edge of the seat is too risky. First aid kit can be a good addition.
9. Replace all fragile and valuable decoratives around to a safer place. A harsh tackle or a slip is definitely around the corner.
10. Frequently engage in reading up pre match reviews and post match analysis from Goal.com. You can claim your podium next to Steve Mcmahon. Passionate fans never miss out on all the pre match hype and fuse. Simulation managers are the best way to let the world know. Sometimes we do plan better than Rafa’s formation.
