Have you ever felt a chill in your spine when u stand hugging urself tightly at the edge of a cliff and when it pours down heavily. The eyes become heavy with all that rain drops and still u try to keep ur eyes open and admire something u find beautiful across the edge. There was a strong westwind blowing across making the trees whistle, the cold air and ur wet clothes make u shiver, and it wud be more worse if u felt like crying for something that is running in ur mind. u really wudn't but it is one of those moments where ur tears get lost amongst the drops, ur body feels warm admist the cold, a nerve of comfort runs thru ur body making ur hair stand up and this comfort makes u break down even more until u collapse. its one of those moments which i believe one wudn't forget for any reason. i am nostlagic abt places, weather and scenarios. they remind me a lot abt " those " days of pain especially those which turned out to be good in the end. but its a nostalgia, i love to pause those moments, stop everything that i was doin, and look around to see if there is something that can make me happy. a life of an optimist is good to watch and read about for others, being an eternal one, sometimes we need something concrete to get a grip of life and things happenin around. i am drawn into conclusion right from my childhood, i think in more than 1 way and behave defenitely in few ways. sometimes/sometimes not, i think its misfortune if u dont have enough ignorance to not see things the way which can affect us in some way. originating from the same source, i see the coin in more than 2 ways as others wud say crazy. i have'nt learnt bliss from ignorance, neither the conviction to live as one can. the path seems clear sometimes, then blurred, missing sometimes and then back to square one. a kind of turmoil many people wud have gone thru for different reasons. mine was'nt but it was for some strange reason and hence it was unique like many others. a misery compounded by the fact that none other the victim can relate to it leave alone understanding it. And so when all this was happening to me, i was left with nothing much but to relish the moment in my own way. then it all happens, the fog clears and i left a different person only to return again with the same cloud over my head. a cloud that had formed on its own picking up everything in its way with ease as an optimist would like to see the world, call it madness but you wud sure not deny it for the moments u live. it taught me a lot of things which i cud'nt cope up with. but still i fought it the hard way. one upon the other, difficulties kept comin, everythin targeted at my emotions and reactions. juggling fire balls became difficult and i realised it a little later. when i felt the burns. now the burnt fingers handle hot things better than ever before.
